I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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