im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
