Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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