you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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