Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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