Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
