I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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