ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
God I need to hump something, right now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
