i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
