"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
