i wish peter jackson would direct porn
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
