Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
is wine microwaveable?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
