You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
