He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
