break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
