i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
