is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
