I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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