so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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