I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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