Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
