Dual....:-)
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
