I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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