Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
