Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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