dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
