Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
