dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
