So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You ruined the universe
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
