She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
