Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
