Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
