His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
