i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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