Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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