Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
