dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
