What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
