he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
