The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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