Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
