isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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