WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
