Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
