plz talk dirty to me
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
