Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
