Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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