Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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