4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
