I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
